TRACK MARKS THE EPILOGUE
by Aggie Escott
Summary: How does Reid cope with what happened in the ranger's hut? And how does this affect Hotch? Short sequel to Track Marks


**TRACK MARKS THE EPILOGUE**

"_**You'll discover that real love is millions of miles past falling in love with anyone or anything. When you make that one effort to feel compassion instead of blame or self-blame, the heart opens again and continues opening." – Sara Paddison  
**_

'I think I'm falling in love with you, Spencer.'

There. He'd said it. There was no unsaying it now. He glanced fearfully at Reid and then went back to watching nervous hands in his lap.

Spencer sighed inwardly. If ever there was a bad time to start a new relationship, then this was it. He tried to pull himself into a sitting position, but the pain was too much, and he lay down again.

'Aaron, there is something you need to know before you say anything else.'

Hotch swung his legs off the bed and carefully walked to the chair that he had been sitting in earlier.

'What is it, Spence?' Aaron took Reid's hand in his in what he hoped was a reassuring way. 'Have I.... erm..... misread the signals?'

'No Aaron. I love you deeply. But something happened while I was being held in the hut.'

'They beat you, that much is obvious. What else happened?' He paused as he suddenly realised. 'Oh god. They didn't..........'

Reid had tears in his eyes, and it was more than Aaron could bear. He touched the tears gently and his hand lingered on Reid's cheek.

'Don't cry, Spence, please. I will help you with this.' Aaron said, his own tears threatening. 'Whatever you want me to be, I will be that person. I will listen if you want to talk.'

'I feel dirty, Aaron. I would be unable to give you what I want to give.'

'It wasn't your fault, Spence. Whatever they did to you, it wasn't your fault.'

Reid's tears were coming fast now, rolling down his face, breaking Aaron's heart. He stood up and sat on the edge of Reid's bed. He leaned down and put his arms tenderly around him and held him close, his face against Reid's, the scent of him filling him, and making him more certain that this feeling he had was love.

'Spencer, I would not take what you couldn't give, and I offer myself to you. What ever you need, let me be the one......... please.'

Reid closed his eyes in an effort to stop the tears. 'Before you said that your feelings were changing, I couldn't tell you. No body knows what happened except the doctor. He said I need counselling, but I don't want to tell anyone.' Reid said. 'But I can tell you, Aaron.' a pause, then, 'Does that make sense to you?'

'Yes. And you have my word that no one else will ever find out. Oh god, Reid. You were smiling and laughing yesterday. How did you keep up with that.' he released Reid from the embrace, and looked into his eyes. 'That took so much courage, Spencer.'

'It was more like cowardice, Aaron. I am so ashamed, I didn't want anyone to suspect.'

Aaron just wanted to envelop Spencer in his arms and never let him go.

'They kept asking what I was doing out there in the forest. I couldn't tell them about you, Aaron. You were so ill, they would have killed you.'

'Oh no, Spence, and they did this to you because you were protecting me?' Aaron felt a surge of love for this man in his arms. He sat up and looked down at Reid. 'Thank you, Spencer.' was all he could say, and so inadequate seemed those words.

'You have nothing to thank me for. I can't help loving you. If I can protect you, then I will.'

'Do you want to talk about it?' Aaron asked. He was feeling light headed with the shock of it. Spencer was one of the bravest men he had ever met, and that courage was born from love.

'They took it in turns, Aaron. It was so hard not to scream, it hurt so much.'

'You are safe now, Spence. I won't let anything happen to you, if you will let me.' He took Reid in his arms again, and Reid put his arms around Aaron. Within minutes, Spencer was asleep.

Oh so gently Aaron rested him down on the bed. He carefully, so as not to waken him, brushed his hair from his forehead and kissed the pale skin. Then he went to his own bed and lay on his side on top of the bed and watched him. Talking about it had refreshed everything in Reid's mind, and it wasn't long before he started to dream.

His eyes darted to and fro beneath his eye lids, and he moaned softly as the dream took hold. Aaron got off his bed and crossed the room slowly and closed the blind at the large observation window. He couldn't bear to see Reid in so much distress, after enduring so much.

He went back to Reid's bed and lay on the bed behind him, on his side, so that his face nuzzled Reid's hair. He wrapped one arm around him, and drew him close. He could smell Reid's shampoo and soap, and other exciting scents that he had never experienced before and again he felt awed by this man's courage.

All he had to do was give him up, and they might have left him alone. But he wouldn't, and Aaron was overwhelmed by that.

Spencer cried out in his sleep, and Aaron gently shook him to wake him up. Softly drawing back his hair and whispering in his ear that he was safe and free now, Spencer seemed to calm without actually waking.

Aaron pressed his face close to the back of Reid's neck, and he too slipped into sleep.

-0-0-0-

When the nurse came in to check on the two agents, she was surprised to see them curled up on the bed together. She shook Aaron awake.

'You should be in your own bed.' she said softly, with a smile.

'He was having a bad dream.' Aaron said. 'He needed someone close.'

He sat up and swung his legs off the bed and stood up. He was still rather shaky, and the nurse helped him round the bed and back to his own.

'Are you lovers?' she asked, indicating the sleeping man.

'No, but we are very close though. Closer than brothers.' Aaron answered. 'He has been through a terrible ordeal, and he was telling me what happened when he went to sleep.'

'He is going to need his friends. Has he told anyone else?'

'No, just me.'

'Well take good care of him, won't you?' she said, writing down Aaron's temperature on the chart. She pushed his sleeve up and wrapped the blood pressure cuff around his arm.

'Has he been damaged permanently?' Aaron asked. 'He was abused over a period of days.'

'I can't tell you that, Agent Hotchner. But just be there for him as he gets through this. It sometimes takes days before victims will even admit that they've been raped. It's good that he has confided in you already.' She wrote down his blood pressure. 'You're fine now, it seems. You had a close call yourself.'

'Not really. Nothing like what he's been through.'

The nurse smiled at him and left the room. Hotch lay back down and stared at the ceiling. His life was on a new track that he never expected to find himself on. The last person he had said "I love you" to was Haley, and that was a long time ago. It had been close with Kate. He turned his head and briefly glanced at his sleeping friend. He had known of Reid's feelings for a long time, and Reid had known that he was not able to love him back. Hotch suspected that Reid harboured a "maybe one day" thought. Well, maybe that day had arrived.

Reid needed him now as never before, and at the moment would not be able to offer himself physically. Maybe he never would be able to, after what had happened to him.

But Aaron was ok with that. He just wanted to protect his friend and touch his skin and maybe even kiss him. But that was all.

But Aaron's love was such that he would stay close to him and be whatever he needed when he needed it.

That was good enough.

-0-0-0-

**ABSOLUTE END PROBABLY**


End file.
